a new name, a new look

For almost five years, I have been blogging here under the name “Mother Words.” I have also taught classes, led retreats, coordinated an annual reading, and mentored other women writers under that name.

It’s time for a change.

It’s been a hellish year in which I lost ten pounds and gained ten pounds (inevitable, I guess). But it’s also been a year of clarification and, dare I say, empowerment.

I began teaching my class for mothers in June 2006 because I wanted to create a place when writing by women about motherhood would be taken seriously as art, where it would be critiqued and nurtured. I began blogging about writing and motherhood to extend the reach of my classes, to broaden the discussion around motherhood literature, and promote some of the wonderful motherhood literature that is currently being written and published.

Along the way, I discovered writing that changed me, that made me not only a better mother, but a better person. It takes courage to write the truth of our daily lives, and I’m grateful to all the mothers who are crafting their lives into art, who are making the path easier or perhaps less lonely for another mother down the line. 

When we encounter a challenge, we are forced to take stock and evaluate the importance of our work. And here it is: I believe in my work. I am committed to helping mothers find a way to the page, deepen their sense of craft, and touch the lives of others with their words. I am committed to promoting motherhood literature and advocating for writers whose work is continually marginalized and discarded. I am committed to helping develop a sense of community—virtual and in-person—where we can write the stories we need to write.

I am excited to announce my new brand: Motherhood & Words™.

I hope that this new name encompasses my renewed passion and my broader focus. Historically, I have spent most of my time promoting memoirs and essays that use motherhood as a lens through which to understand the world. I want to expand the discussion and encompass more poets and fiction writers whose subject may not be motherhood, but whose writing is, perhaps, informed by motherhood. And always I am fascinated by the joys and challenges of getting words on the page in the midst of motherhood.

Please join me at www.motherhoodandwords.com. I’m grateful for your readership, your friendship, and your support. 

hitting a wall

I’ve hit a wall. The early mornings, the rushing, the gazillion things on my to do list that I never have time to get to are taking their toll. I said to Donny this morning, “Can’t we just move to Barcelona?” This has actually become a joke between us—I’ve asked it a hundred times over the last year when stress threatens to get the better of me.

I know that moving to Barcelona wouldn’t solve all our problems, but it would provide a distraction from them, no?

And really, I don’t want to move—not yet anyway. There is a lot going on, yes. But so much of it is really wonderful. The reading last week was fabulous. I’m so grateful to Jill Christman and Sonya Huber for flying into town for the event. And I’m grateful to all of you who made it down to Open Book. Sonya read a hilarious piece titled “Breast is Best” and Jill read her equally hilarious “Weaning Ella.” I was sandwiched in between with a more serious section from my memoir. (If you missed the reading you can listen online. It will be the 100^th podcast on Mom Enough. I’ll post a link when it’s live in a couple of weeks.)

Another good thing: Teaching. I love Tuesday mornings, when I don’t have to rush straight to the office. Instead, I have an hour to sit and write before spending two delightful hours with a truly inspiring group of mother writers. What could be better?

But over the last month and a half as I tried to juggle full-time work with family and my writing career, I realized that it’s not motherhood and writing that are difficult to manage (as it sometimes seemed in the past); it is full-time work and writing that are at odds. Even if I get up at 5 am, as I’ve been doing most weekdays, I have so much other work do to during that hour that I never get to my own writing.

Wait. I’ve just looked at what I’ve written, and I’m shaking my head. WTH? “Stop complaining, Ms. Hopper. You’re lucky to have a job. Pull yourself together.”

Alright. Okay. I’m done. I promise. I’ll recalibrate and be back soon.

updates

I love my class at the Loft, which started last week. What an amazing group of women! I love teaching online, but there is nothing like being in a physical space with a group of mother writers. I leave class elated and inspired. Thank you, ladies!


Also, I wanted to let you know that the Parenting Express 2012 short story (memoir) contest guidelines are posted. Submissions open November 30, and there are a ton of prizes for the winner and runners-up. Parenting Express is an online monthly journal based out of Australia. Submit. Submit. Submit.


I'm still getting up by 5 am, but so far these mornings have been full of class prep and grant writing. Still, I'm working on it.


Lastly, don't forget about the 5th Annual Mother Words reading at Open Book next week:


Thursday, October 13 - 7 p.m.


A reading and reception with the wonderful and talented Jill Christman and Sonya Huber! Join us!

new schedule

Well, I made it through the first week of full-time work last week, but by Friday afternoon, I was exhausted (and had officially developed a head cold). I really like the work (and my coworkers are lovely), but I did feel that pull back to my desk (when will I get any writing done?) and to the River Road (when will I walk?) and to my girls, my girls, my girls. The last has been the hardest. At 2:15 each day, I stare at my clock, knowing that Stella is walking back to my mom's house from the bus stop, chattering away about her day. That is one of my favorite parts of my day--Stella in reporting mode, talking a mile a minute about everything that happened at school. I miss it!


I think Stella misses that time, as well. On Wednesday last week, she screamed, "I hate your new job! You wear make-up now and you don't even look like my mom!" I nearly burst into tears. Later I asked her what I usually look like, and she said, "You wear sweatpants." Oh yes. Did I mention that I miss my sweatpants, as well? 


I know (hope) it will get easier, even as I add my fall class to the mix this week. But I'm determined to get up at 5 a.m. to build a little writing and exercise time into the week. What do you think? Possible?

a blur

How can it almost be the middle of August already? Summers always go too fast, but this summer has been a blur.

I drove up to St. Cloud yesterday to present to the Forum of Executive Women about writing, publishing and motherhood, and it was such a wonderful event. What an interesting and organized group of women. And I was relieved that I didn’t need to fly from the podium to find a restroom in the middle of my talk. (TMI: I’ve been struggling to get over the stomach flu, which laid me—and poor Stella—out while we were up north at my mom’s cabin over the weekend and hit D Tuesday night. It ran through Stella’s system very quickly, but it’s still hanging on to me, unsettling me.)

Aside from the flu, I’ve been busy with the girls and presentation prep and some freelance work and some tweaking of Use Your Words. But I haven’t done much new writing this summer, which always makes me feel a little disoriented. I’m hoping that as soon as school starts again, I can carve out a better schedule for my creative work.

I’m also looking forward to my upcoming fall Mother Words class at the Loft, which will meet Tuesday mornings, 10 – noon, for ten weeks, starting September 27. And then of course the 5^th Annual Mother Words reading at the Loft on Thursday, October 13^th, featuring authors Jill Christman and Sonya Huber. Mark your calendars! It’s going to be a wonderful event.

So there is much to look forward to this fall, as there always is. But I wish I could somehow slow down these last weeks of summer. Or is it that I need to somehow slow myself down?

kudos and upcoming classes

I finally feel like I can breathe again since finishing my manuscript. I hadn’t realized how much energy that last push had taken. In the last two weeks I knew I needed to turn my attention back to the work I had ignored in May, but I just couldn’t do it. I kept sneaking back to bed whenever possible and falling sound asleep. But today I woke up and stretched and thought, oh, I feel like myself again. Let’s hope it sticks.

And I'm excited to report that my fall Mother Words class at the Loft will be a ten-week class on Tuesday mornings, 10 am - noon, Sept 26 - Dec 5 (no class Nov 22).

Mother Words

Whether you are a new mom or a veteran, whether you gave birth to or adopted your child, in this 10-week class you’ll learn how to take birth and motherhood stories and turn them into art. Weekly lectures, reading assignments and writing exercises will focus on telling details, character development, emotional distance, strengthening your reflective voice, and revision. You can expect to generate a number of short creative nonfiction pieces and one long piece. You will receive feedback from your peers and from me in workshops.

I’ll let you know when registration is open. 


I’ll also be teaching Blogging: A Tool for Writers at the Loft on Saturday, October 29, 9 am – noon. More details on that workshop forthcoming.

Also, mark your calendar's for the 5th annual Mother Words reading at the Loft on Thursday, October 13th. I will be joined by the amazing writers Jill Christman and Sonya Huber! I can't wait. 

And as I’m thinking about teaching again, I want to share a couple of recent publications by former students. The multi-talented Andrea Lani has a wonderful review of Cassie Premo Steele’s Shamrock and Lotus and Kristina Riggle’s The Life You’ve Imagined over at Literary Mama. And Stacy Chase’s essay, “Exiled,” is now in Hyperlexia Journal. Stacy started writing this essay a few years ago in my Mother Words class, and I’m so proud of her for getting it out into the world. Congratulations to both Andrea and Stacy!

free creative nonfiction workshop

I’ll be teaching a free two-hour Introduction to Creative Nonfiction workshop in conjunction with The Loft Literary Center at the Prior Lake Library on May 12^th as part of Scott County Libraries’ Inkslingers: Writers in the Libraries program.

Come try your hand at creative nonfiction. We’ll be discussing the basics of creative nonfiction, doing a few writing exercises, and generally having fun. What’s not to love about that? It’s free, but you must register. Here are the details:

When: Thu 5/12, 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.

Where: Prior Lake Library, 16210 Eagle Creek Ave SE, Prior Lake, MN

To Register: Call 952-447-3375

Space limited. Call now. 

inspiration and work

I am currently teaching three classes--two online Mother Words classes and a prose revision class at the Loft--and I'm busy, especially when you add the girls and Stella's spring break last week and writing and editing and family and friends (well, you get the picture). There isn't enough time in the day to keep up.


But--and this is a huge but--I love it all. I leave my Monday night class at the Loft elated. What an amazing group of writers. They are both fiction and nonfiction writers, and each person brings a unique perspective to class. They are warm and funny and talented. And they work so hard--each week they come to class with new writing and different ways to approach their revisions. Last night I got home and was ready to dive into my own writing, but it was ten o'clock, and the girls get up early, so I opted instead for a glass of wine and a book in bed. (I just started Tracy Seeley's new memoir My Ruby Slippers: The Road Back to Kansas, which I'm already loving. Seeley's prose is absolutely gorgeous. I'll post more about that in the coming weeks.)


This morning, I read some of the wonderful writing and dipped into the discussions of my online students--two groups of brilliant, thoughtful, talented mother writers. And I even snuck in some of my own writing. (Just a little, but it was something.)


So, the sun is shining. I wrote. I taught. Now I'm heading home to work on my current editing project. And maybe I'll even have time for a walk today. We'll see. We'll see. 


How is everyone's work going? What is inspiring you today?

retreat recap

I wanted to write about the retreat on Monday, but as soon as I arrived home, I had to shift gears and dive into class planning and prep. But I want to take some time now to say what an amazing weekend it was.

Friday and Saturday mornings were both spent in group craft meetings up in the Eagle’s Nest, the top floor of the Lodge that overlooks formidable pines and the snow-covered pond. When it’s sunny, the sun streams through the windows onto the pine table, and it’s the perfect place to read, write, and talk about writing.

Or sit by the fireplace and write...

And I was amazed again this year by the quality and volume of writing that was produced in a few short days. There is definitely something about Faith’s Lodge—built to offer comfort to those who have experienced tremendous losses—that unleashes something powerful -- a desperate need to connect, a hopeful rush of words. It's definitely a space built to allow people to dive into reflection.

In the early afternoons, I had individual manuscript conferences with the participants, and then, spent but exhilarated, I headed out the door, skis in hand. And around and around the small pond I went, letting the hiss of skis on snow propel me. I would stop periodically and stare up at the sky, at the tiniest snowflakes I’ve ever seen, glinting in the afternoon sun. 

On Saturday, after I skied the pond, I stopped at Sophia’s Bridge, named for the daughter that one of the participants lost to SIDS. And I just stood there, taking in the sun and snow and the incredible loss.

Saturday night, after we talked more about writing and had dinner, we went out to the bonfire and (after we finally got the wet logs to light) roasted marshmallows for s’mores and read our favorite poems. And when that was done, we dashed inside (it was 12º below zero after all).

Sunday morning was spent writing and reading and then goal setting. One of the participants (who had also recently lost a child) told me that it was the first morning in a long, long time that she woke up feeling inspired. What a gift to have been a part of that inspiration.

I’m hoping to raise even more money for Faith’s Lodge next year with a slightly bigger group. So mark your calendars for the last weekend in February 2012, and don’t miss out on three transformative days of writing, reading, and sharing with other mother writers. (Oh, and don't forget the wine and conversation and dark chocolate...)

Thanks, ladies, for making it such a wonderful retreat!

mother words retreat, day 1

When I arrived at Faith’s Lodge yesterday afternoon, the ground was covered in fresh snow, the sky was that brilliant winter blue, and the sun was illuminating the Aspen trees exactly the way it did last year—as if their peeling bark had been engulfed in white flames.  I took one deep breath of cold fresh air after another.

When I got to my room, I turned on the fireplace, and then I took a few minutes to just sit in gratitude, appreciating the quiet beauty of this place.

This retreat is not really a retreat for me—I’m in charge, so I’m wearing my teacher and coordinator hats—but this year I’m also going to try to dip into my own writing, to steal a little time in front of the fireplace with my laptop (or rather D’s laptop—Thanks, Babe!). I, too, need to remember what it feels like to play with words, to write myself into discovery.

The women on the retreat are amazing, as they were last year, and when we meet and they read their words, I’m astounded not only by their vast abilities as writers, but their honesty and bravery.  What a gift to facilitate such an amazing group of writers.

I hope that by the end of the long weekend, everyone is rededicated to their writing, ready to move in new directions and approach their work with fresh eyes. I hope I’ll feel that way, as well. 

So now I’m off to the fireplace to steal a forty five minutes for myself.

two spots still available!

I've been spending the week prepping for my current Mother Words class (with a wonderful group of writers!) and my new prose revision class that starts at the Loft on Monday night. But I've also been reading and preparing for the Mother Words Retreat at Faith's Lodge, which is next weekend. I can't wait!


There are still two open spaces for the retreat and there's still time to sign up. Join us for a long weekend of writing and reading and talking about craft and the writing life. (There will also be plenty of time for sleeping and snow-shoeing and long walks in the woods and sitting in front of the fireplace.) The retreat kicks off with a wine reception on Thursday evening. 


For more information, check out my website. To register, contact Marquetta at Faith's Lodge at 612-825-2073 or marquetta@faithslodge.org. 


Don't miss this opportunity to connect with a wonderful group of mother writers and help raise money for Faith's Lodge.

profile

Thank you to Julie Pfitzinger for the lovely profile and interview in the Star Tribune this morning. Thanks, Julie!

upcoming classes and retreats

January is flying by, which is hard to believe since I spend most of day closeted in my tiny office. But I'm so busy getting ready for AWP and my winter and spring classes that all the sudden I glance at the clock and it's time to walk down to the bus stop to get Stella.

Here's what I have coming up:

There are still two spots open for the 2nd annual Mother Words retreat at Faith’s Lodge February 24 – 27. Spend the weekend writing and relaxing and talking about craft with a group of mother writers amidst the quiet and luxury of Faith’s Lodge. For more information about the retreat, visit my website. To register, contact Marquetta Nickols at Faith’s Lodge at marquetta@faithslodge.org or 612-825-2073.

I’m also excited about my upcoming prose revision class at the Loft. It meets Monday nights February 21 – April 11, 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. Here's the description of that class:

After the First Draft: Prose Revision
You’ve finished the first draft of your short story, novel, or memoir. Now what do you do with it? This course will help you revision your writing and move beyond that first draft. We will discuss how to strengthen your characters, sustain your narrative threads, identify the heart of your piece, and make the most of your dialogue. We will read writers such as James Baldwin, Charles Baxter, Bernard Cooper, and Beth Kephart. In addition to lectures and in-class writing exercises, each student will have an opportunity to share and receive feedback on his or her work. To register for that class, visit The Loft.

And I also have four spots still open in my Spring online Mother Words class, which begins on March 23. Visit my website or contact me with questions or to register.

Lots of fun teaching coming up. I look forward to having a few of you in class!

fall classes at the loft

I can’t believe fall is right around the corner. Everyone (Stella, Zoë, D.) will be back in school next week, which will be disorienting. But I’ll have time to finish the revision (please, please) and gear up for my fall classes, all of which I’m really excited about.

This is what I'll be teaching:

Mother Words - 10 week class at the Open Book, Minneapolis
Tuesdays, 1-3 p.m. Sept. 28 - Dec. 7 (No class Nov. 23)

Whether you are a new mom or a veteran, whether you gave birth to or adopted your child, in this class you’ll learn how to take birth and motherhood stories and turn them into art. We’ll talk about the use of humor and explore ways to capture funny motherhood anecdotes on paper. We’ll also discuss and write about the heartbreak and loss that are part of motherhood. Weekly writing exercises will focus on telling details, character development, and strengthening your reflective voice. You can expect to generate two to three creative nonfiction pieces. The instructor will provide feedback on up to 10 pages of student writing (typed and double spaced) in addition to pieces shared and workshopped in class. Course packets will be available for a copy fee on the first day of class.

For more information and to register, visit the Loft.

Introduction to Creative Nonfiction - 8 week class at the Open Book, Minneapolis
Tuesdays, Oct. 12 - Dec. 7, 7:30 - 9:30 p.m. (No class Nov. 23)

Memoirist Patricia Hampl says, “I don’t write about what I know, but in order to find out what I know.” Writing is an act of discovery. In this class, you will have an opportunity to write and reflect, go deep into your writing to find out what you know. You will develop an eye for seeing the true story in your writing. Assigned readings and writing exercises will be focused on telling details, creating a sense of place, developing strong characters and strengthening your reflective voice. Students will have an opportunity to receive supportive, constructive feedback from class members and the teaching artist through weekly sharing and one workshop.

To register, please visit the Loft.

Blogging: A Tool for Writers - Open Book, Minneapolis
Saturday, Oct. 9, 1 - 3 p.m.

In this one-day workshop, we will explore the benefits of blogging for writers. We will discuss issues of audience and voice, and how to use a blog to help build your platform and cultivate a readership for print publications. Participants will leave with a better sense of how a blog can help further their writing careers and with a page of blog resources and tips for how to start and maintain a successful blog.

To register, please visit the Loft.

I’m also taking registrations for my winter online Mother Words class, which will begin in February, 2011. And there are still a few spots left for the Mother Words Retreat, which will be held February 24-27 at Faith’s Lodge. For more information about either of these, visit my website or contact me.

teaching, writing and lee

The other night I went to see Chang-rae Lee read and talk about his new novel, The Surrendered. I haven’t read much of his fiction, but I absolutely love his essay “Coming Home Again,” which he was gracious enough to let me use in my Introduction to Creative Nonfiction class at the Loft.

I like to use this essay when I talk about character development because it’s such a lovely portrayal of his mother, a first-generation Korean immigrant, and of Lee’s relationship with her. The essay describes the last months of Lee’s mother’s life and her quarrel with herself over sending Lee away to Exeter for high school. This is one of my favorite scenes:

I remember washing rice in the kitchen one day and my mother’s saying in English, from her usual seat, “I made a big mistake.”

“About Exeter?”

“Yes, I made a big mistake. You should be with us for that time. I should never let you go there.”

“So why did you?” I said.

“Because I didn’t know I was going to die.”

I let her words pass. For the first time in her life, she was letting herself speak her full mind, so what else could I do?

“But you know what?” she spoke up. “It was better for you. I you stayed home, you would not like me so much now.”

I suggested that maybe I would like her even more.

She shook her head. “Impossible.”

On Tuesday night, Lee read the beginning of The Surrendered, which is stunning, and then spent over a half hour answering questions. I asked him, as I am wont to do, how he balanced teaching—he teaches at Princeton—and writing and family. (He has two young daughters.)

He admitted that it was challenging, especially when his daughters were very small. But he said that because his teaching predated his publishing, he’d always been a writer who taught. But he also said that it’s difficult to teach when he’s writing and write when he’s teaching. He needs to compartmentalize these two things because writing involves turning inward and teaching involves turning outward, being empathetic and supportive. (I’m paraphrasing badly here…)

I guess I agree with this, though I don’t know when I’ll have more than a month at a time when I’m not teaching, when I can really immerse myself in my own prose. Maybe I'll never have that kind of time.

And maybe that’s okay. What I like about teaching and writing simultaneously—juggling the two—is that the elements of craft I’m discussing with my students are then at the forefront of my mind when I’m writing. As I sit down for my twenty minutes here or an hour there, thoughts about craft are swirling in my busy brain. I like to think it makes me a better writer.

And there is no doubt that teaching energizes me. Oh, the prep and getting myself in my teaching frame of mind can be exhausting, but it also feeds me. When my students have break-throughs or get a piece published, I take great pride in their work and the part I’ve played in it.

And that brings me to Brain, Child. One of my lovely and talented students has a wonderful essay in the latest issue. If you don’t already subscribe to Brain, Child, you should. And when you do, check out Andrea's “Raising Private Milo,” which she started in my online Mother Words class last year. Congratulations, Andrea! You can also read Andrea’s writing online—she writes the wonderful blog Remains of the Day.

Now, I'm off to write for twenty minutes before I start my teaching prep.

firefly memoir writing retreat

I'm happy to announce that I'm leading another writing retreat this summer. This will be a memoir writing retreat with Firefly Retreats, which will be held at Xanadu Island Bed and Breakfast in Battle Lake, Minnesota.

What: Memoir as Discovery

Description: Writing is an act of discovery. Dive into your writing and find out what you know. The retreat is a place to write, share writing, discuss elements of craft, and connect with other writers. In addition to group learning, students meet with me individually to delve more deeply into their writing and learn to take risks on the page.

When: June 14 - 17, 2010

Where: Xanadu Bed and Breakfast, Battle Lake, MN

The retreat begins 1:00 pm on Monday, June 14 and ends at noon Thursday, June 17. Most of the time we’ll spend writing, but we’ll take time for local color too. We’ll do our writing at Glendalough in a lodge that overlooks Annie Battle, a primitive lake restricted to non-motorized recreation.


Xanadu, where we’ll stay, is located on small peninsula jutting out into a lake. When we’re not writing, there’ll be time for recreation – paddle boat, fishing boat, water “toys”, bonfires – or just relaxing.

We'll eat dinner one night at Stella’s (wonderful name!), a favorite restaurant and wine bar in Battle Lake, and dine another night at a private home overlooking West Battle Lake.

Cost: $600

The cost of a retreat includes writing instruction, transportation to and from various venues, and meals. Accommodations are NOT included.

Participation is limited to 8 people. To book the retreat or for more information, call Firefly Retreats at 218.862.5510 or email firefly[at]arvig.net.

writing parenthood - one-day workshop

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes for Zoë. I think she had a wonderful birthday (and she’s very excited about the new wagon from her grandparents!)

I wanted to let you know about my upcoming Writing Parenthood class at The Loft -- it's a super-condensed version of Mother Words (and dads are welcome, too!)

Here are the details:

Writing Parenthood - One-day Workshop

Saturday, March 20 - 9:30 am - 1:30 pm

The Loft Literary Center, Open Book, Minneapolis

Parenthood offers endless fodder for writing. In this one-day class you’ll learn how to capture your funny and heartbreaking parenting anecdotes on paper and bring them to life with sensory details and strong characters. In addition to in-class writing, we will spend time discussing how and where to pitch your parenthood stories and how to fit writing into your busy life. You will leave the workshop with a start on two essays and a page of exercises to try at home.

To register, please visit The Loft. Please contact me with questions.

retreat recap

I wrote about arriving at Faith’s Lodge on Friday, about the feeling of that place, the incredible energy there. This energy only intensified, crystallized, as the weekend progressed.

The weather was perfect—in the 40s, bright sun, blue sky. (Don’t be afraid of Wisconsin in February!) As we sat in the top floor meeting room, sun streamed in the windows, melting snow dripped from the roof.

Of course, it wasn’t just the weather that filled us up. I have never been in a room full of women with such powerful stories; women who were willing to share these stories, grapple with them, write to the heart of them.

We talked about craft, about writing and publishing. We wrote. We listened to each other read what we’d written. We cried—a lot. We laughed—a lot. We drank a lot of wine. And by Sunday afternoon, everyone had made major breakthroughs with their writing: rethinking structure, making discoveries, focusing in on scene, reframing.

It’s amazing to be part of a writing breakthrough. There is something incredibly powerful in asking the questions, making the suggestions that help someone crack open a piece of writing and take it to the next level.

I’ve been thinking a lot about something that Kate St. Vincent Vogl mentioned in her interview a couple of weeks ago. She alluded to something I’ve heard writers—and especially writers of creative nonfiction—say before: that writing isn’t therapeutic. So many writers balk at this idea.

I think the reason they balk is because they want their work viewed as art and they think if it’s tied in any way to “therapy,” this will somehow undercut the work they’ve put into crafting their story.

I’ve talked about this with both my classes in the last weeks and I talked about it on the retreat. And this is what I think: if you are really diving in and fearlessly searching for your story in the material of your life, it’s impossible for you not to make discoveries, to gain perspective on the life you’ve lived.

I love what Philip Gerard says: “[A memoir is] not simply a scrapbook of memories to brood over or cherish, but a reckoning. That’s the reason to write a memoir: to find out what really happened in your life; to drive toward the fact behind all the other facts, and come to some understanding, however limited, of what it means—and accept that truth.”

But if you are really doing this work of “reckoning,” you will change, you will be able to make sense of the life you’ve lived in a new way. What’s not therapeutic about that?

Now, that the thing that differentiates writing for yourself—journaling—and successful memoir and essay lies in craft. Is it crafted? Has the writer been able to craft the raw material of his/her life?

But you can experience a transformation in the writing process and still end up with art.

It’s my job to help my students craft their stories into art, to find the best way to tell the stories they need to tell. And I hope—I really do hope—that in this process they make discoveries, process the material of their lives, let go of what they need to let go of.

This is the kind of thing that was happening all weekend—this kind of tremendous and important work. Maybe it was therapeutic. It was definitely the work of artists.

Now I’m home, and I’m filled with gratitude for these fine women with whom I spent the weekend, filled with gratitude for D and my girls. (Stella made me eight presents while I was gone—paper flowers and bags decorated with glitter, drawings of our family. And when I pulled the car up in front of our house on Sunday, she and Zoë were waiting on the porch, waving, smiling.)

And now I’m ready to write. I’m ready to walk bravely into words, just as I witnessed these fine writers do all weekend long.

(I’ll post photos in the next few days.)

connections

My mind has been buzzing these last days with thoughts about form and function in creative nonfiction, memoir as discovery, and the role writing plays in memory revision. Both of my classes are underway now, and I'm loving them. My students are so smart and engaged.

I realized this week that I love teaching two classes at once because often the ideas being mulled over by students in one class speak to the ideas being mulled over by the students in the other class. How cool is that? The constant back-and-forth keeps me thinking and making connections. Add to that the prep for next weekend's Mother Words Retreat, and, well, you can imagine my busy busy brain.

So today I'm simply going to leave you with this photo of the snowman Stella and I made a few weeks ago:



Sad snowman. Sad, sad snowman. (Can anyone guess what we used for the eyes?)

a difference

Sometimes as a teacher, it’s difficult to know whether I’m making a difference. It’s certainly easier now that I teach adults because adults—and especially mothers—are more vocal in their appreciation than, say, a bunch of 18-year-olds. But even now, I sometimes wonder whether what I do matters.

Needless to say, it made my day the other day to get the following e-mail from a former student (from my first year teaching as a first-year MFA student at the University of Minnesota):

“It was a kick to see your story today at Brevity’s website. I thought, “Is that the same Kate Hopper who taught me first year creative writing at the U?” And sure enough, I believe you are! Gosh, that was almost 10 years ago when you were a TA for Maria-somebody. Anyway, I wanted to say hello, to tell you that I enjoyed your Brevity essay, and that I think of you often. I’m finishing up my MFA now in California, but you were my first creative writing teacher, the very first person who said, “Hey, these stories are pretty good. You can do this.” Since then, I’ve published several short pieces and am working on my first book.”

I sat at my computer beaming as I read that. I know I can’t take credit for Teri’s wonderful writing or the fact she’s finishing her MFA, but maybe my words of encouragement helped set her on the writing path? Perhaps. It feels like enough to me.

And her message offers me the encouragement I need as I gear up for my two spring classes and start pulling together exercises and a schedule for the first Mother Words writing retreat. I have one spot left in my online Mother Words class, which begins on February 10th. There are also a few spots still available for the retreat (and Faith’s Lodge decided to institute a sliding scale—$300 to $500—to make it more accessible.) So if any of you have a hankering to write more this spring, sign up.