updates

I love my class at the Loft, which started last week. What an amazing group of women! I love teaching online, but there is nothing like being in a physical space with a group of mother writers. I leave class elated and inspired. Thank you, ladies!


Also, I wanted to let you know that the Parenting Express 2012 short story (memoir) contest guidelines are posted. Submissions open November 30, and there are a ton of prizes for the winner and runners-up. Parenting Express is an online monthly journal based out of Australia. Submit. Submit. Submit.


I'm still getting up by 5 am, but so far these mornings have been full of class prep and grant writing. Still, I'm working on it.


Lastly, don't forget about the 5th Annual Mother Words reading at Open Book next week:


Thursday, October 13 - 7 p.m.


A reading and reception with the wonderful and talented Jill Christman and Sonya Huber! Join us!

and the winner is....

Thank you all so much for your wonderful haiku! It has been such a relief to be able to step out of my book-induced stress haze and read your poetry! Thank you for your words!


Now I'm turning it over to the talented and fabulous Caroline Grant, Editor-in-Chief of Literary Mama, co-editor of Mama PhD and the judge of this year's Mother Words' Haiku Contest. Welcome, Caroline!! 


***

Mother Words Haiku contest: surprise!

When I was in third or fourth grade, my schoolteacher introduced us to Matsuo Basho's haiku. We were all asked to choose one to illustrate, so I picked one about daffodils and copied it out in fancy script, surrounding the letters with flowers and a purplish Mt. Fuji looming in the background. I thought then, and thought for years afterward, that haiku had to be serious, had to be about the natural world, and -- if I'd been honest with you -- had to be dull.

I love that Kate hosts an annual Mother Words haiku contest because I can appreciate haiku now in a way I wasn't able to when I was ten. It's the perfect form for mothers, really. We spend so much time with our children, playing with and observing them, but in some profound ways we're also left quite alone with our own thoughts (because after the first ten dozen games of Candyland, who's really paying attention anymore?) We could let our minds wander to grocery lists and the movies we want to see -- and of course often we do -- but with this nudge from Kate, we can let our minds wander in a more creative way, distilling our days down to their essence, finding a way to make these moments funny or poignant, finding a way to translate these solitary moments into something universal. So I applaud all of the writers who entered the contest; you made it so hard for me, I wrote a haiku about it:

This morning's challenge:

Judging a haiku contest

Hard to pick just one.

I'm drawn first to the funny ones, which happened to fall into two categories: toilet-related and not. For instance, Ironmom's, which made me laugh out loud:

OK, diapers, sure.

But this is ridiculous.

There's poop everywhere!

Or Suze's haiku, called Sammy's Take on Toilet Training, which took me right back to those days when my son would lurk behind the couch:

Oh! I'm not hiding.

I DON'T need to poop right now,

Just...don't...look...at...meee

Stace-c and I share the same reaction to a diaper haz-mat situation:

Treasured baby wear,

After blowout, your new home

Is in garbage can.

Then in the funny but non-toilet related category we have Mary, who cracks me up with a title longer than the haiku:

"When Your 18 Year Old Shares the Blessed News at His High School Lunch Table"

A new baby now

So you and Dad still do it

My lunch crowd's grossed out

Or Andrea's:

Total silence from

Ultrasound technician, then,

"Did they suspect twins?"

Speaking of twins, Stace-c offers another:

Safety gates be damned!

Twins can open anything

Teamwork starts at birth.

Moving away from humor, I loved the haiku that made me nod (or wince) in recognition, like Patty's:

Words snap from my mouth:

"Because I said so, that's why!"

who have I become?

And Claire's:

Who would have thought it?

Grocery shopping alone.

This old chore's a gift.

And kqchristopherson's:

Just one more minute

Please can I have attention?

Yes, my trying love

A couple writers contributed bittersweet haiku, like "Sluiter Nation," who wrote:

depression sneaks in

warm and soft my baby boy

i don't deserve him

And Pia:

My deep fear, Autism.

Isn't as bad as I dreamed

My little man glows

And Merle targets childhood's powerful emotions:

Daily five-year-old's rage

leaves dead and wounded feelings.

Remorseful kisses.

As the editor of Mama, PhD (one of the prizes in this contest) of course I have to give props to Lara, whose haiku is titled Motherhood Surprise:

Redefine passion!

Ambassador skills advance

my new PhD

Some of my favorites capture a moment of family life, like this beautiful one, vivid as a photograph, from Francesca, titled "Lemonade Stand":

Lunchtime, balmy day
Lemonade, rice krispy treats
Fifty cents a pop

Carrie submitted a set of four haiku that moves chronologically through her family's transformation, and I particularly loved the second for its evocation of a time now passed in my family:

Attempt at homeschool

Toddlers, naked, too much fun

Roll in olive oil

But ultimately, my favorite is one that's neither funny nor poignant but simply gets at the heart of what has been one surprise in motherhood for me: setting aside (sometimes far aside) a clean house and tidy spaces to join my children where they are, creatively, and finding such happiness there:

Give me board books strewn

and dripping, bright paint projects—

mess!—a sign of joy.

I love the spirited language, the alliteration, and the vivid details in this haiku, and most of all the deep pleasure it conveys. If Emily Dickinson wrote motherhood haiku, I think she would have written like this. So congratulations to Sarah, and thank you for inspiring me to get out the art supplies with my kids today.

 ***

Congratulations to all of you! Sarah, I'll e-mail your Amazon gift card and send your address to Caroline for the book!!

it's time, again

(I posted this yesterday, but it vanished. I’ve no idea why.)

Spring has been slow in coming to Minnesota this year, but finally, it's here. The plants in the garden have begun to fill out, the grass is green, and even our spindly Maple in the front yard has sprouted leaves. All of this means that it is time, yet again, for the annual Mother Words haiku contest.

For those of you who are new to Mother Words, I launched the annual contest in 2008, when Zoë was just a couple of months old and I developed a raging case of mastitis. D was traveling, so I was on my own, juggling an infant and a four-year-old. It wasn’t pretty, people. You can read more about that here.

But from my experience with mastitis, the annual Mother Words haiku contest was born.

This year, the subject of the haiku contest will be (drumroll please): surprise. What has surprised you most about motherhood? What surprises you about parenting your specific child? (Take this any direction you like.)

I’m very excited to announce that Caroline Grant, editor-in-chief of Literary Mama and co-editor of the wonderful anthology Mama PhD, has agreed to be the judge this year. And in addition to the $10 amazon gift card that I’ll send to the winner, Caroline will send a copy of Mama PhD!

I love funny haiku, but anything goes. Just remember 5 - 7 - 5. Put your haiku in the comments section below. The deadline is Monday, May 23^rd!

Come on and haiku today!

it's time

Spring has been slow in coming to Minnesota this year, but finally, it's here. The plants in the garden have begun to fill out, the grass is green, and even our spindly Maple in the front yard has sprouted leaves.

All of this means that it is time, yet again, for the annual Mother Words haiku contest. Whoop! Whoop!


For those of you who are new to Mother Words, I launched the annual contest in 2008 when Zoë was just a couple of months old and I developed a raging case of mastitis. D was traveling, so I was on my own, juggling an infant and a four-year-old. It wasn’t pretty, people. You can read more about that here.

But from my experience with mastitis, the annual Mother Words haiku contest was born. And now, I'd like to introduce the topic of the 4th Annual Mother Mother Words haiku contest. (Drum roll please.)

Topic: Surprise. What is the thing that has surprised you most about motherhood? About being a parent? About parenting your specific child/children? (Anything along these lines...)

I am happy to announce that Caroline Grant, editor-in-chief of Literary Mama and co-editor of the wonderful anthology Mama, PhD, will be the judge this year. And in addition to the $10 Amazon gift card that I provide to the winner, Caroline has offered to donate a copy of Mama PhD. So get your haiku pants on and start writing.

I love funny haiku, but anything goes. Just remember, it has to be 5 - 7 - 5. Post your haiku as a comment below by Monday, May 23rd. 

Haiku! Haiku! Haiku! Come on and haiku today! (Clearly I've been spending a little too much time alone in my office...) 

and the winner is...

Thank you, again, to everyone for submitting their wonderful haiku. I'm turning it over to Judge Laura to announce the winner:

Wow! As a past contestant in and fan of the previous two Mother Words Haiku contests, I was awed by this year’s entries. They were funny, touching, puzzling (let’s be honest, the genre DOES make everything a little extra pithy but cryptic), sincere... in a word, art! The readers of this blog can certainly turn a phrase. Here were my top 5, in no particular order:


Stace-C:

my good old aunt flo
turned into a raging flood
no pad can contain


Emily:

Meet Anxiety
Here to stay. And your chest? Like
deflated balloons.


Elizabeth:

What no one told me?
I would become my mother.
But that is o.k.


Kaethe:

The dream where she is
suffocating beside me
never lasts all night.


But the grand winner is Pia, because her haiku made me smile and also cry a little, and because I thought it encompassed the theme (What No One Told Me) the very best of all:

My heart left my chest
In tiny jeans and t-shirt
Walks around, exposed

Congratulations to all who entered the contest—it was a tough race this year!

Laura

Thanks again to all contestants! And thank you, Laura, for being the judge! Pia, look for your $10 amazon gift card as an e-mail link.

haiku contest dealine extended!

Thanks to all of you who have submitted a haiku for the contest! I'm loving them!

For those of you who haven't submitted, there's still time. I am extending the deadline until Sunday night, April 25th. My dear friend Laura, the judge of this year's contest, is at a work conference through the weekend, and though she offered to judge your wonderful poems from her hotel room, I said no. I want her home, in the thick of family life, when she sits down to pick her favorite "what no one told me" haiku.

So if you haven't submitted, there's still time. You can do it. You can. Post your haiku in the comment field here.

3rd annual haiku contest

Spring is in the air. The determined stems of our peonies have pressed their way through the mulch, the Clematis is twining its way up the trellis on the side of our house, and the pale leaves of our baby Elm are unfurling despite the damn rabbit that snacked on the tree’s tender bark during the dark days of February.

I have forgiven the rabbit because I love spring. I sit on the front step and breathe deeply, grateful for the sunshine. I go for long runs along the river. I take the girls to the park and on bike rides to the lakes, where we watch the ducks and eat ice cream.

I love spring for all of those things. But I also love spring because it means it’s time, friends, for the annual Mother Words haiku contest.

For those of you who are new to Mother Words, I launched the annual contest in 2008, when Zoë was just a couple of months old and I developed a raging case of mastitis. D was traveling, so I was on my own, juggling an infant and a four-year-old. It wasn’t pretty, people. You can read more about that here.

But from my experience with mastitis, the annual Mother Words haiku contest was born. You can read the 2008 entries here and the winners here.

Then last year, to recognize Zoë’s transformation from a sweet, biddable baby into a trouble-making toddler, I hosted the toddler haiku contest. These killed me. (You can read those entries here and here. The top seven and winner are here.)

This year, it will be the “what no one told me” haiku contest. Dig into your story bin and write me a haiku (5-7-5) about what no one told you (or what you wish someone had told you) about motherhood or raising kids. My dear friend Laura will be the judge this year. And, as in years past, humor is always appreciated.

So bring on the haiku. Please post your haiku in the comment field below. The deadline is Friday, April 23rd. The winner will receive a $10 gift card to amazon.com.

Don’t be shy. Haiku!

the top seven

Thank you to everyone who submitted a toddler haiku for the annual Mother Words Haiku Contest. You can read all the entries here and here. This year, my dear friend Jess agreed to judge the contest, so I’m turning it over to Jess, who says:

I’m a little troubled by the prevalence of excretion in the haiku, and even more so by how funny I find them - not sure if that’s a testament to the general poopiness of kiddos or an indication that my sense of humor hasn’t matured much since 5th grade. Anyways, the poems were FAB! Here are my top seven:

Toddler on my lap
Can’t let me out of her sight.
Tinkle, tinkle, plop.

by Amber S.


Don’t drink that water
Your poopy butt sits in it
A shriek of delight

by Laura


You pooped in pantry
Spread and raked it with your hoe
Looky! Garden grow!

by Marilyn


thought I had a girl
but look--on top of table
it’s a mountain goat

and

book was his first word
but the treatment he gives them,
no book could survive

both by Stace-c


and last but certainly not least,

Oh sleep, where are you?
“I get out! Running around!”
Escapes from crib. Damn.

and

Little voice, so sweet
"Don’t fucks with me" says my son
All laughs and giggles

both by the illustrious Ms. R. Hopper.

So...though I was tempted by mountain goat, book abuse, tinkle tinkle little plop, and had to pass on bathwater shrieks because I know the poopy butt that sits in it, and since I’m pretty sure there is a 2nd annual haiku contest prohibition on allowing a Hopper sister to win (nepotism, yes, but also because it would be patently unfair – they’re all so damned witty), THE WINNER IS...

Marilyn! I’m sorry about your pantry, but PLEASE say that you took a photo, because that is fantastic. I mean, it’s practically the same thing as fertilizer, right?

Thanks, guys. As a grad school sufferer, I sorely needed the comic relief. Bravo!

Jess


Thanks, Jess! Congratulations, Marilyn! I look forward to more wonderful and witty haiku next year.

oh where oh where

are all the haiku?

People, don't make me bust out my own mad haiku skills. Post your toddler haiku here for a chance to win a $10 amazon gift card. Seriously, if you spend ten minutes writing your haiku, that's a dollar a minute.

The deadline has been extended to Saturday, March 28th. Don't be scared.

haiku you

I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet this week. I have a number of things of my blogging list, including an interview with the wonderful Julie Schumacher and a review of her new book, Black Box. But with the radio thing on Sunday (which went well, I think), the launch of Mother Words Online yesterday (yay!) and reduced writing time in the morning because of D’s new early practice schedule (the soccer season has officially begun, people), I haven’t had time to sit down and blog.

If I may interject a question here: Would twittering help? Could I just twit or tweet a note that feeds into this blog so at least you would know I haven’t perished? My friend Vicki suggested this, but it seems so daunting. Are there any twitterers (tweeters?) who want to weigh in on this?

Okay, back to my week: So yesterday, I finally posted my first (logistics-heavy) lecture for my online class, and then I ran out to find a birthday present for D. (38 today! Happy Birthday, babe! I love you!) And while Zoë was trying to pull clothes from the racks, I noticed a dull ache in my right breast. By the time we got home, the ache had become a hard rock of pain, and I knew I had a plugged duct. WTF? This late in the game? When I’m gearing up to wean? Ridiculous.

Now, perhaps you remember my date mastitis last year. (Or your own painful date.) Not fun, not fun at all. I didn’t want to go there again, so I knew I needed to be aggressive. I put Zoë down for a nap, then filled a bowl with hot water and sprawled across the kitchen floor, soaking myself. It’s humiliating to find oneself on the kitchen floor, face pressed to wood, staring at the dust and alphabet magnets stranded under the oven. Humiliating, I tell you.

After the soak, I called my mom to see if she could pick up Stella from school—thank God for my mom—and I fell into a deep sleep and slept for a whole hour, until Zoë began to screech from her crib. Later, I went to bed early and have been hydrating like crazy. The pain is now only an ache, so I’m hoping that I’ve successfully kept the devil at bay.

This brush with mastitis reminded me of two things: the first is that I need to slow down and try to nap a couple of times a week. The second is that it’s time for the annual Mother Words haiku contest. Last year, the haiku subject was, of course, mastitis, and you will remember the fine and funny entries, which you can read here. This year (since I am determined not to get mastitis again), the focus of the haiku contest will be—drum roll, please—toddlers.

It seems unbelievable that my Zoë transformed from a happy, fairly easy baby to a trouble-making toddler in just a week, but it happened. Last week she underwent the metamorphosis, and it isn’t pretty. She’s up on chairs, rocking them back and forth. She’s sprinting across the living room with china that she snuck from the cabinet. She’s pulling hair and hitting in anger when she doesn’t get her way. (I don’t remember this happening so early. Again, WTF?)

But I would like to honor Zoë’s transition with this year’s haiku contest: toddler haiku. If you have a toddler, this will be easy. If your children are older, try to recall the frustration, the lack of speech, the beginning of tantrums. (And even if you don’t have children, you can enter. Certainly you have seen and interacted with toddlers at some point.)

To enter, post your haiku as a comment below. Remember 5-7-5. Deadline for entering: Wednesday, March 25th. I am going to ask my friend Jess to judge the contest this year because she loves haiku. For my 30th birthday, she made me a tiny booklet filled with 30 birthday haiku. She likes funny, just so you know.

Bring them on! Haiku you!

two sisters, two winners

My dear sisters didn't follow my directions. They were supposed to read the haiku entries, then confer and choose a winner. But they each chose a winner, so now I have two winners of the first Mother Words haiku contest. (Not such a bad thing--I loved all of them!)

The winners are: Emmie and Soon to Be First Time Mom

Emmie wrote:

OK - had two bad bouts of mastitis and several plugged ducts. The "dangle feed" (nursing while leaning over the baby, best done on a bed or on the floor) saved me from more bouts of actual mastitis, as did aggressive self-massage. I always remember my OB saying, as she noticed the angry red line on my breast, "well, this is the kind of thing that used to sometimes kill you before antibiotics". Anyway, here goes - true story, never since discussed, thankfully:

Feed with dangling breast
Good for mastitis, they say
Dad-in-law walks in

Soon to Be First Time Mom wrote:

Expectant Haiku....

Thirty-two weeks now,
Reflux: Used to seem quite bad
Posts arouse New Fears

Here are the comments from my sisters:

Rachel said:

Wow, these haikus were truly funny to read, and I'm a big fan of funny haikus. Nothing funny about mastitis while in its evil throes, but it does tend to make for good stories later - both in giving a lighter slant to the dark hours of breastfeeding, and in highlighting the strength of women in their journey through motherhood. You don't know me, but I'm Kate's younger sister, Rachel. I had some raging mastitis that set in exactly 1 week after I gave birth to my son. My favorite memory is Kate coming over to visit me after I went to the doctor for antibiotics. I've memorialized this visit with a haiku of my own:

Let me see, she says
Almost vomits in her mouth
Does it look that bad????

Anyway, it's difficult for me to be a judge...first, because I'm no expert on haikus; and second, because I have a hard time making decisions. But, if I had to choose just one, my vote goes to: Emmie. The image of your father-in-law walking in on you gave me a hearty laugh!

Sara said:

Hi everyone. I'm Kate's older sister Sara. I'm the sister who has never had mastitis. I am also not a mother and not pregnant, but I'm definitely neurotic, so should I become pregnant at any point in the future I am very, very afraid I might get mastitis (among a long list of other fears). I therefore have to throw my vote to the "expectant haiku." In particular, I would like to applaud the use of capital letters with respect to New Fears. Because my youngest sister Rachel and I have split our votes, I will leave it to Kate to determine an equitable means for awarding the gift certificate. I enjoyed reading all the entries!

Emmie and Soon to Be First Time Mom will each receive a $10 amazon gift card. I have Emmie's address, but Soon to Be First Time Mom, will you please send me your address (to katehopper [at] msn [dot] com)?

Thanks to all of you who posted your haikus.

don't be afraid of a haiku

You can be afraid of mastitis, but don't be afraid of a little haiku. Post your entry for the mastitis haiku contest here. The contest closes tomorrow (Friday) at 5 p.m. The winner receives a $10 gift card to amazon.com. This is big-time, people. How can you not enter for a chance to win?

mastitis haiku contest

In deference to the breastfeeding gods, I am hosting the FIRST EVER mastitis haiku contest right here at Mother Words.

How to enter: Think hard about mastitis. Write a haiku about it. Type your haiku in the comments field of this post.

Note: You need not have experienced mastitis to write a haiku or to win. I am enlisting my two sisters as judges. One has had mastitis, the other has not. Both love a funny haiku. The winner will be chosen Friday, May 30th and will receive a $10 gift card to amazon.com. Only one entry per person.

To get you started, I’ll leave you with this:

kate’s mastitis haiku

Breast and body ache
Plugged ducts, oh how I hate thee
Calgon take me now


I clearly expect to be outdone.