hanging in there

I know most of my recent posts have been personal, pregnancy-related ones, and I want to apologize. I actually have a couple of books on which I want to report, but I’ll plan on doing that next week. Pregnancy and parenting and tying up loose ends are all-consuming at the moment. Please bear with me.

To continue in my self-absorbed vein: I’m 38 weeks pregnant today. I’m still measuring “small,” and actually lost a little weight this week, which makes me nervous, but I have to remember that the baby was fine last week on the ultrasound. It’s not as if she’s going to shrink, right?

Other breaking news: I am extraordinarily tired this week. I just now finished the last freelance thing I HAD TO TURN IN before the baby is born, so I’m hoping to spend the next week revitalizing the art of the daily nap. I apparently need a daily nap because without one, I wake up in the morning looking like a washed-out 80s rocker. Seriously. There is something about the length of my hair and the bags under my eyes that, combined, make me look as though I partied too long on the circuit. Sadly, I’ve got the look without the lifestyle. The other morning, I walked into the bathroom and D said, “Where’s your guitar, Eddie?” I’ve become a female, red-haired version of Eddie Van Halen. This is not good news.

The good news is that I am thoroughly enjoying Stella these days (with the exception of the other night when she told me that she wished D and I weren’t alive so that so could go live with her Grammy. I had made her turn off Mary Poppins because it was getting too late and this was the ugly result.) But other than that, she really has been delightful. Yesterday, all three of us played Clumsy Monster, a game in which we take turns putting a blanket over our heads and running into walls and falling down. (Don’t worry—I was really careful.) I have never heard Stella laugh so hard. It’s one of the infectious, loud laughs—absolutely irresistible. She loves slap-stick and made us do it over and over again. Her other favorite game involves her and D walking toward each other backwards from across the room as they pretend to talk on cell phones. Then they bump into each other and when they turn around, they both gasp as realize they are father and daughter. The game sometimes involves other props (sunglasses for a better disguise, bouncing balls that fly everywhere on impact, etc.). The game always ends in a dramatic hug. Over and over again they do this as I watch from the couch. Who knew this could be entertaining? (I have probably not done the scene justice here. You’d really have to see it.)

One more week of work before my maternity leave begins, and it would be nice to finish the month, but I’d be fine if I didn’t. I’ll just clean the house (again and probably again), nap, and try to relax a little. Maybe I’ll even have a half-glass of wine tonight. I know, I know. I’m getting really crazy.